Growing up (ever since I can remember) I was a compulsive eater. Eating all the time. Even as a little girl I remember sneaking around, eating food so that my parents couldn’t hear. Of course they knew that I had a problem and confronted me all the time and watched me. As an adult, I’m on my own. The choices I make are not controled by “parents” anymore who are watching you. I did good for several years, losing weight before marrying my husband. However in the past two years since having my daughter, things have gone really bad.

After starting slimplicity I thought the desire to lose weight and taking slimplicity would “cure” me. I stand here today telling you that it didn’t. I went to the doctors a couple of days ago and my blood was pressure was really high and my weight was too heavy. After having a discouraging and an awakening conversation with the doctor, I knew that I had some choices to make. I was also now at risk of some deadly potential diseases.

I called my Slimplicity sponser (whom I buy the product from) explaining the situation. Immediatly fellow friends and my sponser got involved. Helping and introducing me to people who could share stories of the same struggling they once had.

I’m on day two of this new attitude. Its been a struggle but I’m taking one hour at a time. Each hour I am faced with cravings, urges, and an appetite. Each of those are choices that I have to make. I have been  finding things to do other than giving in. Calling people, writing, checking email, or going up stairs to do laundry. Once the weather gets warmer I can take my girl and go for a walk.

At this time I am being honest with myself for the time in my life. Honest about my struggles and food addiction. This friday I am going to see some professional help concerning this issue just to get some outside help and input on how to conquer something I have struggled with for so long.

This past week I didn’t do very good following a good workout plan or anything. Just made it about me and selfish and unhealthy eating habits. Somehow I did manage to lose a pound.

Paul has a four day weekend. Its been nice to have the extra day with him. Yesterday we went into Fairbanks and did light shopping. Paul needed a shirt for tonight. He is taking me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day. I’m so excited! We have a babysitter to watch Katy and everything! I went out last weekend and found a nice outfit and some matching jewelry. Fun stuff!

For me it was “Last Chance Workout” day. I worked out in the morning and the again in the afternoon and then again in the evening. Tomorrow is weigh in so you have to make it count. I only do Last Chance Workout once a week. Also I’m excited I finally own an eliptical (sp?). Paul got one for free from someone as work who didn’t want it anymore. Other than a few damages done to the outside, it works great!

Katy has a fun filled day. Played lots and had a good nap. In evening we all went out to the PX (simply to get out of the house) and then over to Old Navy. She needed new jeans. Her other ones were short and tight. Also great news we found nice brand new tennis shoes for Katy at the PX for $8.99! After Old Navy and realizing there was a 45 minute wait we decided to go back to North Pole and eat at a local Chinese resturant.

Tomorrow we have a long day as well. Paul has barracks check, clean out the Tahoe and get it washed, and run his dress greens to a taylor shop for some work. During this Katy and I are going to our mini Mall (Bently Mall or what we like to call Bently Hall) to walk around and get my hair done. : ) Katy likes the girls in the salon who know her. I’m hoping to find a new shirt for Paul and I’s Valentine’s Day dinner next Saturday evening. We even have a sitter. : )

So often we Christian wives need to be reminded what our role is in our home. I have been polluted by the world’s point of view of what a woman’s place in the home is. Jana has humbly and yet buntly taught me so much and showed me through scriptures what is right and what is wrong.

I bring this up because I was confronted with a small challenge today. Its hard to not to throw a fit and kick and scream when something doesn’t go your way. OR if something creeps up into your life and you didn’t realize it was coming. But as soon as I saw it, I thought.. hmm.. There are a number of ways to react. Someone asked me, “Barb.. Who is in control?” My reply? “God’. The simple thing to do is trust God. I pray for growth everyday, minute, and years the rest of my life. All of this happens THROUGH CHRIST.

Another thing that happened throught Christ, I lost 2 inches around!

I joined a website called fatscecret.com Already it has proven to be a good thing. It makes you log everything you eat. Log if you have worked out. You have a journal that you can write in. I even had a reader comment giving me advice on how I can use herbs instead of salty seasonings on meat. It also makes you type in your starting weight and your goal. As you track your weight loss it tracks how close you are to your goal. 

Paul is working late today. He is shooting this week at work. He seemed excited to be working with guns again. He had 40 rounds and got 34. He said it wasn’t his best but it wasn’t bad.

Katy is being Katy. Constantly rearranging my kitchen cabinets that are in her reach. I think I hear her in the kitchen where the cans are. We made through another day with no “owies”.

Add about 10 more pounds and thats me today

This was me while Paul and I were dating before I gained all of my weight.

I’ve simply have had enough.

I knew something was wrong. Everytime when it was time to take Katy (my 14 month old) up to bed, I dreaded it. Not because I wanted to spend more time with her but because I dreaded having to walking up our long flights of stairs to put her to bed. I would get so winded from just going up and coming back down. Yes.. I am overweight and something NEEDS to change.

I have been watching Biggest Loser. Normally I just ignore the show when its on and just shrug it off as a reality tv show not worth watching. This season, I decided to watch it and see what it was all about. In just 3 episodes I found myself paralyzed on the couch. I couldn’t believe the diseases and extreme health problems you can get just by being obese. Yes… my family and friends.. I used the word obese. And according to doctors, I am obese. Heres the problem, I don’t want to be. So.. thats why I’m here today on my blog being brutally and pubically honest, things are going to change.

Here is what motivates me. First, I want to honor God. I have dishonored him with my body. My whole body is to serve Christ and I have been making it about my selfish needs and desires.

Second, I want to please my husband. I have been reading a number of books and reading scriptures about what role (bibically) I have as a wife in my family. And yes.. it does say to be lovely to your husband. When Paul and I got engaged I was 90 pounds lighter. I gain about 10 before our wedding day. And then since we have been married…… d..o…w..n.. h..i..l..l.. from there. I got pregnant only 6 months after we got married. However I only gained 35 pounds during the pregnancy but then exploded after I had my daughter. Once again selfish needs. So.. yes.. I want to do this for Paul. I want to be lovely to my husband.

Thirdly, for my family as a whole. I want to do this for myself, to able to go up and down the stairs, no problem. For my daughter, I want to run with her in the park and enjoy her childhood years. I want to do this for my family, to be an example of being healthy and making healthy food.

You ask how I plan on doing this.. well a number of things. First of all.. if any of you watch Biggest Loser you will understand my plan of action. I plan on working out everyday but Sunday. I plan on having every Friday be “Last Chance Workout”. Thats where I work out several times to get in my last chance workout before I weigh myself on Saturday morning. I will only weight myself once a week. Last but not least, I will be following Reliv’s Slimplicity program.

I’m excited to take this journey.

At this point I’m 100 pounds over weight. I’m not quite ready to share the exact amount I weigh but in time.. as I lose weight, perhaps I will be able to.

If any of you have advice on cheap meals or things I can be doing, please feel free to share!

So much has happened since the last time I had written. We are in Alaska and things are going really good. We had a bit of a rough start. It took us 6 days to drive to Alaska. We started in Dallas, TX. Only because we had to ship my car from there. The drive was pretty good. Once hitting Dawson City in Alberta the drive was very pretty all the way there. Lots of mountains and hills. One point we were pretty far up that we saw snow! We saw lots of different animals sitting on the side of the road. Wild horses, Bison, Moose, and at one point a coyote. Katy was good for the most part except for the last two days. She was getting cranky and didn’t want to be in the car seat anymore.

Once getting here, we realized we were not going to get much help from the ARMY. It was the one of the many times I was let down. But.. God knew what was going to happen and gave us wisdom to know that He would provide. At one point the ARMY pretty much left us homeless. They didn’t give us nearly enough money to travel. They didn’t give us any money at all to help us survive without a home. Praise God, that I had connections up there. We have been living with friends for almost 3 weeks now. Once looking for a home we realized the earliest we could get in was Oct 1st. Lots of men coming and going through this town. However we did find a place and look forward to moving in to it on the 5th.

It has snowed a couple of times since arriving here. I have stuck Katy in the snow with her boots and snow pants… she loved it! Its getting colder and darker. Its about 8:30 and its still kind of “gloomy” looking.

You can pray that we adjust well in our new home and unpacking goes smoothily. Also pray that Paul adjusts well at work. Pray that Paul and I continue to go to church and seek God first in our lives.